He popped the "W.Y.G.O.W.M" question
and that WYGOWM stands for will you go out with me.
Ok guys before you start reading my happy-sad ending here, please note that i was a bit angry with what happend. So please dont judge me, i just need to be honset with you so i can get advice from you. so please comment because i need help.
And this is Jezz were talking about here.
It all started when we went into town square. I went with my sister and there was Dean, Kieran & Jezz. They were waiting by the fountain, and you could tell as i walked down the stairs, his eyes lit up. So the day went smoothly but nothing really ended up happening. See, Kieran told me that he was going to ask me out, but he was just too shy. So when we got home I went on msn to talk to Jezz because he said he would be on, it wasnt long before we navagated to the subject of going out. He asked me out with obvisly some pushing from Kieran, and of course i said yes.
So we have been going out for umm, a week i think? Yes and as i have unfortunatly found out he has his flaws, wich DONT matter but you see these flaws he has, are the ones that make me cringe, Infact i hate Them so much it has caused me to dump other people in the past becuase of it. Clingyness... I hate it. Just when every five minutes you hear your phone go off and its Jezz saying I FUCING LOVE YOU, it just makes me think. Does he even know what love is? im fairly sure that he dosent love me, its just lust. I know that i have never been in love before, I try to reslise that its only strong lust. but people who waste the word "love" too much when its fairly clear that it isnt love. That annoyes me. Second i hate the fact that he is majorly OBSESSED. He will not shut up. Ok im sounding like im being reaally mean. But i really despise these traits and i spose if i give yu the full story then you might be able to help me better if i acctually show how annoyed i am. Ok yes, so anyway. Kieran pasted something Jezz said, to me on msn. This just added to the annoyence. He was just blabbing on and on about how much he cant wait to hug me and see me again and how beautiful i was and blah blah blah. Mmm hmm i know what your thinking. "why is she annoyed he said that she was beautiful, thats lovely" NO. Hearing that word beautiul 12 times in one day when its being said about you by the same person isnt my ideal paridice. I really cant stand it.
On to the next thing, Grr. The 'kissing part'. After me realising that this was getting out of hand, i decided to call kieran. So we were on the phone talking for a good hour about everything. Jezz signed on. So i talked to him for a bit. And then signed off, though i was still on the phone to Kieran. then Kieran sighed a long hard sigh, and then said
"oh great...."
"Whats wrong?" I was a tad worried
"Kirsty? You know hou you dont really like it when your boyfriend has never kissed anyone before?"
From that moment i lost most of the lust i had for jezz, the second last part had dissapeared just like that.
OK I KNOW YOU ARE THINKING I AM I B**CH. but please dont get the wrong impression about me. Im really ussally happier and more nice than this. But right now i really want to be honset with you guys. And there is no way i will get the right advice i need from you if i put on a happy act and pretend nothing is wrong, so just keep reading. please?
SO, after that i was on the phone to cazz and she told me how bi polar he is, one minute hes friendly, the next hes yelling at cazz and threatening to commit suicide.
Wich brings me to my final concern. He is suicidal. He acts happy when were talking or when were together. But when hes talking to other people, such as cazz and other mates of his. He says things like "im going to commit suicide". Wich is worst of all. Because my love for him has mostly perrished, and if i make the decision to break it off with him. there is a 50/100 chance he might commit suicide.
Thankyou for reading till the end without exiting in anger. Just comment please i need the most help with this one.
And also, HAPPY NEW YEAR
ciao xx
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5 comments:
im sorry jezz didnt seem to be all you thought he was. i dont think youre a bitch, actually. i say, if you dont like him, try and break up with him, but in the softest way possible because he is suicidal. make sure to be nice and stuff like that and then say that you can still hang out as friends.
because if you dont like him its wrong to lead him on, right?
this is probably no help at all.
Happy New Year.
mady :) i'm sorry i read your blog. if you don't want me to then say and i won't read it. but i saw the comment on mari's one and i was like "...eh?"
but YOU ARE NOT A BITCH! i totally understand where you're coming from, i think the same things. i hate it when people are like, "aahh, i love you," and you've been going out for two hours.
i mean, what the fuck?
but i thought i would comment you, and i'll talk to you about this later. and let's go shopping :)
love you! xoxox
After reading this, I definitely don't think you're a bitch, at all!
I know exactly what you mean. It annoys me majorly, when people have been going out for a few days, and say things like "I love you so much". I mean, it could be possible in some scenarios, but for most people.. it's not really love yet.
I'm sorry that he might be suicidal. I can kinda relate to that.
My ex boyfriend used to threaten to commit suicide or cut himself and sent me pictures, and I know what it feels like to have that kind of pressure put on you.
I'm really sorry you're going through this.
I'm not quite sure what to tell you.
Maybe you could just.. wait it out? See how things go.. But slowly drop hints along the way that you don't want to be with him anymore, so that when the time comes to end things, he'll know it's coming and won't be shocked.
Good luck!
And Happy New Year! x
you sound alot like me and im actually relieved about that because that means im not the biggest bitch in australia and there must be people worse than us
the clingyness i understand but instead of just messages of i love you instead every 5 minutes it was "whatcha doing? i love you" and it was just like, do you mind? i have better things to do then spend my life texting. i told adam he was being clingy and that led to him not talking to me at all anymore but i dont really know jezz to say if he'll take that well
and yea with the obsessiveness its nice if he tells you your beautiful like once a day but too much more than that then the words being overused and starts to mean nothing, i have no idea what to do about that
and i dont really know what its like with the kissing thing because ive only ever kissed people thatve kissed other people before
and it really sucks about the bi-polar thing
i dont really have any good advice but i hope it all works out
xxo
You're not a bitch. If you don't feel it you don't feel it for him. Sometimes two people are better off as friends, and that's clearly the way it is with you and Jezz.
But you really have to tell him. It's not fair to either one of you if you don't. Just be reaaallllyyy careful. AVoid using cliches like "It's not you, it's me," cuz face it, that doesn't do shit. Be honest, but not in a cruel way.
I hate people that waste the word love. I'm in love, and even though it's unrequited, I know what love is and it pisses me off when people use it flippantly.
Happy 2009!
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